Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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