You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
