what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
