Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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