I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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