I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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