it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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