I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
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It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
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Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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