If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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