What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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