You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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