he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
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