Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
