I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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