I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
