New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
40s are totally the cure
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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