its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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