my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.