My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.