My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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