What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
