Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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