Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Randomize
