I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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