He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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