so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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