If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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