Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
