I think I won the penis lottery.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
this hospital has no fireball
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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