Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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