were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
