Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
