call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
