Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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