we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
