If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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