Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
