I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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