You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
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I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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