This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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