i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
