i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
