We should be called the Road Head Warriors
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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