ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
