do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
