Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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