Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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