I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
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I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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