How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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