I cockslap morals
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
