I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Houston, we have a blender
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
