my sisters under your porch take her home
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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