I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My dick has a subreddit
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
