i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is classic penis vs brain.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
