we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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