it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
