lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize