Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
