First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
