I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
