I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
