Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
