Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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