Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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