Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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