omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
