Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
