My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
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I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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