Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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