she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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