okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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