It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize