Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
