I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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