Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
