he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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