Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
