How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
